Gather around, kids. Criss-cross applesauce or whatever. No! Hey! No. We don’t hit. Hands to ourselves. We use our words, right? Right.
And that’s actually what our story is about today, boys and girls. It’s about some people who did know how to use their words. They knew how to use them very well. But then one day… well, you’ll just have to see.
Once upon a time, a long time ago, there was a magical land. In some ways, this land wasn’t that different from ours, but in other ways, it was very different. You see, the people of this land hadn’t heard of Twitter, or X, or TikTok, or anything like that yet. And what we call “news” meant something much different. Their news was more about information. And even people who disagreed usually watched the same news shows on TV. Hmm? TV? Oh, it was like a big box of YouTube, but it only had four or five creators. And the people of this land – Max, get that thing out of your mouth! – the people of this land valued a certain type of conversation. They liked it when things were smart, relatable and maybe even a little clever.
In this kingdom there were writers. They were conservative political writers, yes, but they were creative, too. What’s that? Well, we have to use our imaginations to picture a time like that, right friends? Some were funny like Carlson and Labash. Others were thoughtful and deep thinkers like Will or Kristol or Brooks. Now, some of these writers were friends with each other, and some were not. Some of them worked together while others did not. But they all worked hard at their jobs. They wrote about America and politics and society and other countries and almost all of it was worth reading. Even if you didn’t agree with them.
But then something happened. Their kingdom got a new king who didn’t like anyone who was better with words than he was. And unless these good writers told the king that he was the best, the king would insult them and tell people not to read them. Do you remember last week when we had that talk about how we treat each other on the playground? Yes. It WAS like that.
So the writers all went on different adventures. Some decided to tell the king what he wanted to hear. Some started to do that and then changed their minds. Other writers went off to say mean things about the king and some just seemed to stop trying. You know boys and girls, all of their crazy adventures are a little like a movie you’ll watch when you’re older by Monty Python, but don’t worry about that now.
But even though our story time is just about done for today, this story doesn’t have an ending just yet. You see, the king’s time is running out and the writers have all gotten older. When that king is gone and a new one has taken his place, will the writers go back to what they used to do? Will people even care? We’ll have to see, boys and – DAMMIT MAX THAT IS NOT FOOD GET IT OUT OF YOUR MOUTH – boys and girls. Ok, everyone to their naptime spot.