Category: Fewer Words

Why does Dana Gould’s “Hanging with Dr. Z” feel like one of those comedy projects that hits at the right time, despite (or because of) its being a washed-up ape talk show parody?

Tonight’s lottery results are brought to you by:

Consortium of American Algebra Curriculums (CA)(AC)

The winning numbers are:

3, |y|, 22i, f(x), 15

Political Talk Show Host: “And tonight our guest is poet William Butler Yeats who’s joining us to discuss the election. Mr. Yates, thanks for being here. Why, do you think, we’re seeing both candidates spending so much time courting their base rather than trying to win over moderate, undecided voters?”

William Butler Yates: “The falcon cannot hear the falconer; Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold.”

PTH: “Uh, huh. It does seem that both campaigns are having trouble reaching centrists with an effective message. Politics has certainly changed over the last decade..  But I wonder, Mr. Yates, why the move on both sides towards more extreme leaders and candidates? Why so much anger at both ends of the political spectrum? Your thoughts?”

WBY: “The best lack all conviction, while the worst are full of passionate intensity.”

PTH: “Well, there you have it. A stark assessment from a long-dead Irish poet who’s obsessed with the occult. When we come back we’ll have former Vice President Dan Quayle discuss the end times. Don’t go anywhere.”

Did you read George Saunders’ latest book, Vigil?

Did you have what could be politely described as a tepid response?

If so, does this Washington Post article and the related series about end-of-life dreams and visions (ELDVs) make you want to rethink your opinion?

Asking for a friend.

The interior of an executive office. Bright, sterile.

Executive of company: [to Brian and Andrew who are standing in the doorway]

Gentlemen, come in. Sit down. 

Look, before we start I’m going to be upfront with you guys. My company has a problem. But, I hate consultants. You’re overpaid viruses, sapping energy from hard working corporations and clogging the pathways of democracy. But you’ve gotten this far. You’ve impressed my staff including people who I deeply trust. So you gentlemen have earned this conversation. And let me tell you – if you answer my questions and do exactly what I say… maybe we can work together.

First, let me ask you – do you like the Beatles?

Brian: [sneaking a glance at coworker]

Um. uh. Yeah. I guess Uh, I mean like some of their stuff better than some other stuff. [turning to his coworker, Andrew] Right?

Andrew: 

Sure. yeah. And sss..same thing with the band themselves. Some folks like Paul, [does a terrible impression] some John. Maybe George. No one’s a Ringo guy, right? Ahahahaha?

[Executive just glares at them with no reaction. Their forced laughter dies down. There is a very heavy moment of silence.]

Executive:

Now kiss.

[Brian’s and Andrew’s eyes get big and they shift in their seats, making a squeaking noise against the leather upholstery. Neither says anything. Brian slowly shifts his lips to the side of his head and begins to lean towards Andrew. Andrew shuts his eyes extremely tight and purses his lips. He’s making a small whining noise. Without getting fully out of their seats they have an awkward peck and quickly sit back in their chairs.]

Executive:

The BAND you shitheads. Do you like the band Kiss from the 1970s?! God, you guys are stupid.

Brian:

 Oh! Oh, yeah sure. Detroit Rock City. Woo!

[Andrew exhales and looks up at the ceiling.]