The interior of an executive office. Bright, sterile.
Executive of company: [to Brian and Andrew who are standing in the doorway]
Gentlemen, come in. Sit down.
Look, before we start I’m going to be upfront with you guys. My company has a problem. But, I hate consultants. You’re overpaid viruses, sapping energy from hard working corporations and clogging the pathways of democracy. But you’ve gotten this far. You’ve impressed my staff including people who I deeply trust. So you gentlemen have earned this conversation. And let me tell you – if you answer my questions and do exactly what I say… maybe we can work together.
First, let me ask you – do you like the Beatles?
Brian: [sneaking a glance at coworker]
Um. uh. Yeah. I guess Uh, I mean like some of their stuff better than some other stuff. [turning to his coworker, Andrew] Right?
Andrew:
Sure. yeah. And sss..same thing with the band themselves. Some folks like Paul, [does a terrible impression] some John. Maybe George. No one’s a Ringo guy, right? Ahahahaha?
[Executive just glares at them with no reaction. Their forced laughter dies down. There is a very heavy moment of silence.]
Executive:
Now kiss.
[Brian’s and Andrew’s eyes get big and they shift in their seats, making a squeaking noise against the leather upholstery. Neither says anything. Brian slowly shifts his lips to the side of his head and begins to lean towards Andrew. Andrew shuts his eyes extremely tight and purses his lips. He’s making a small whining noise. Without getting fully out of their seats they have an awkward peck and quickly sit back in their chairs.]
Executive:
The BAND you shitheads. Do you like the band Kiss from the 1970s?! God, you guys are stupid.
Brian:
Oh! Oh, yeah sure. Detroit Rock City. Woo!
[Andrew exhales and looks up at the ceiling.]